Saturday, 18 January 2014

Being in China is weird at times.

So, about two months ago I read an article about how people feel when they move to another country. It didn't matter if it was just for a little while for work, or if it was a permanent move. My move certainly is not permanent, but I am going to be here for a long time.

Now a few of the points in the article points really did hit home and I shared them with my fellow expats. Like for instance, one of the points was that you will miss things that you never even cared about. I suppose that point goes hand in hand with the simple belief that most of us will hear applied to relationships now and then of "you don't miss it until its gone". For me, one of the things that I miss that I knew I would are Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps. Easily the greatest crisp in the world. If you do not agree. Tough. You are wrong. Fact.

Now the thing that I miss but didn't think I would was cheese. In the UK I quite enjoyed cheese, but I would never go out of my way for a particular cheese or anything like that. I would rock into ASDA and get my usual block of extra mature cheddar and go home. And then usually grate it onto something. Or occasionally devour large chunks of a block when I was drunk.

However I was at a friends a few weeks back and him and I are known for being "posh". I would not say that we particularly are, but the areas we were lucky enough to grow up in are rather nice and so sometimes we sound posh. Now we were waiting for other friends to arrive for a gaming night. Said friend after all has a large HD projector so split screen is brilliant. Before hand, he asked me if I wanted dinner. I took him up on his kind offer and proceeded to get the cheese out of the fridge. For any of you that have been to China for any sizeable length of time you know that most things you tend not to buy in shops. Even a lot of simple groceries, but you get them off the internet. Particularly a website called Taobao. I recommend you go on it and just search for anything. My friend appeared with 5 different cheeses, oatcakes, beetroot chutney (hate beetroots but loved the chutney) and caviare.

When our fellow coworkers arrived and saw our meal, we were branded toffs and have been called such since. The thing about this situation for me was that it reminded me that the closest I had come to eating cheese in four months was the weird yellow paste on the inside of a McDonald's quarter pounder. So I got one of my PA's (it helps to be Chinese to actually buy things on Taobao) to get me some cheddar cheese. I paid nearly £10 for two blocks of 350g cheese. So more than you would pay for them in the UK by quite a margin, but its like getting it off the black market here. I also have a particular thing about hoarding Old El Paso fajita mix whenever its in an imported section. But that's another tale (Plus, getting hold of the wraps is such a chore).

Anyway, thats enough rambling about that. But suffice to say, its strange how I do indeed obsess over something that before I could not care less about.

The other point in the article that I found amusing was the idea that "any foreigner you meet, instantly becomes like a long lost friend". For a while I agreed with this, largely because I was greeted with open arms every time I went to any pub or bar where foreigners frequented. The thing was though, I was going to these places with the express desire to meet foreigners. Which is the same reason they were there. Its always nice to go where everybody knows your name etc etc. After a day of teaching people English and then the rest of my day struggling to speak Chinese to those I don't teach, its nice to go to these lands where I can talk to people. For some reason though, outside these places I like to call "green zones" I don't like to meet foreigners. I will avoid them like the plague when I go to Starbucks to get my weekly ginger-nut latte. But the most important place I try to avoid other foreigners is the supermarket. Most people in China get things from markets and street sellers. They are fresh and safe (I think the eggs are way better). But with my limited lingo skills I like to stick to the familiar, like many of the foreigners. So I go to a supermarket called Carreforre. Its French. It is, to say the least, just like Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. This is largely because the people that work there are the least helpful and most depressing people on the planet. Its like where all of the cast of Lost will go when they die.

Now I was in there and bagging up my items in the vegetable section and all of a sudden I heard this New York fake Italian drawl go "hiya buddy, what are you doing here?".

For one second I did nothing as I did not recognise the voice, so just assumed that it wasn't me he was talking to. A silly thing to think, but I could only hope.
Sadly I was wrong. This man, who fair enough just wanted to chat, had decided that I was someone he could talk with.

The only downside of this is that A) I am clearly busy and focussed on my task at hand and B) I had been teaching for 9 solid hours. I wanted my food and I wanted to escape my personal hell that is the Chinese supermarket.

Again, I can see where this man was coming from. He saw a white man and wanted to talk to him. But the thing that for some reason grated me was his assumption of instant link and friendship that the article spoke about. My problem is that we had only two things in common. We are both foreign and we speak English. We are not even from the same bloody continent, let alone country!!! and my experience with the Americans in China that I have met so far is that whilst they are usually as lovely as I know the American people to be, when they are in China, they seem to take on the assumption that it does not matter what they are doing or what they are saying but they are right and everyone else is wrong. I have seen this in all my US coworkers and I can only speak to them in small doses because of this (generally because most conversations amongst large groups of foreigners in China will always turn into an "us and them" debate somehow and it gets tiring. God forbid get into an argument with one.

I know that this makes me sound like a horrible human being. I do like people, I just don't understand them much. A close friend of mine commented the other day that she likes how I always try and see the best in people when I talk to them. I was thinking that this is true, but at the same time I don't like too look too closely at people in case I am wrong. That's why I try and keep largely to myself.

Like nearly every foreigner here in this beautiful and exotic country, I do tend to stop and say to my friends "look, new foreigner" when I see one. I think that the only difference between me and what the writer of the article shows is that I have no interest in then just going up to that foreigner and speaking to them.

Well, that's enough of my crazy talk for now. Next time on the John show...... why do Chinese women find it so strange that a 26 year old Englishman enjoys cooking and can also cook Chinese food???

End of line.

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Life beyond the wall

Well, I didn't stick to my promise that I made on this blog back in early 2013 to make a post every week. I haven't even stuck to my personal vow to write my journal. I will try and be better, but to be honest life got in the way. In my own defence, my reasons for not having the time to post much are better than most peoples.

Since my last post that I made on here, some major things have happened. In the first week of September I moved 6500 miles from my humble home in the north of England to the mysterious and exotic land of China. I currently live in the city of Xuzhou where I teach English to about ten classes of Chinese children.

I've been here for just over four months now and I am hoping to be here for another 20 before I head back to the UK. Before I came here I was thinking that I would go home after a year as my commitments at home were rather large but a recent betrayal means that I have no home to go back to any more. This has led me to think that it is worth staying another year and then heading back when I have bumped my qualifications up some more. I know it sounds dramatic that I have no home to go to, but annoyingly I come from a very small family and they have no rooms for me to stay in when I go back and my own home will soon be sold. Simple facts.

Its odd when I think about home as I don't really miss it. I don't really miss much about home either except for archery and cheese and onion crisps (I have one packet of Cheese and Onion crisps I'm saving for a really bad day).

One of the things that was pretty big when I was over here is that my book came out: Raus Untoten.


I had always wanted to be published, after all I read so much, it seemed a natural progression for my favourite hobby. The thing was that I never really tried my hand at writing apart from a number of stories i had started and just as quickly abandoned. Then I was told about this project that was being done about zombies and nazi's and that my science background would make me an ideal candidate. I spent a few months on the project and then two months after submission I was told that I had been successful. It was something of a win for me.

I keep reading of course (and also working on a few projects of my own). Just yesterday I ploughed through Battle Earth X by Nick Thomas that was a good read. His stuff for a while in the middle had gotten a bit boring around books 5-7 of the series but 9 was back to the greatness of 1-3 and 10 has been a really good read with a feeling of Battlestar Galactica at the beginning of series 3. There are only two books left in the series so I am looking forward to seeing where it goes.

I best head off as not only have I spent a large amount of the past 24 hours in bed thanks to being ill, I have a Chinese test tomorrow, all after I had a teaching exam on Monday from Cambridge University. Busy times.

Friday, 23 August 2013

Broke a little promise

Well, I have been a bit lapse with my posting on here. The top of the page says that I was going to write a new post once a week and that had been my aim for 2013. Well, I quickly lost that and that was largely because of the theme of my last post.

As you can see, this little lady takes up quite a bit of my time....


 

This is not to say that I haven't been busy. A few days after Connie came along I got myself a new job. I must say that it was extremely boring but it was a stepping stone to a better job. I have since quit that job and am about to embark on an adventure to China for a new career path. So I guess that I will have to blog about that once I am over there.

Most importantly, in running with the theme of this blog, I have somehow managed to get myself published! Its a short story in an anthology about zombies so it was right up my street. There are some very distinguished authors in the anthology so I am really happy to be included amongst their numbers and along with that, I have made it in to the first volume which is very, very awesome.

So I guess all I can say is watch this space and not only will I put more things in about the book, but I will probably use the blog to put stuff out there about China., That's assuming I can access the blog from over there as I don't know what their relationship with Google is from one day to the next.

End of line.

Sunday, 13 January 2013

Circle of Life

I have decided to high-jack my normally book focussed blog with a personal update.

I have become a father.

The past 48 hours have been surreal for me and I have yet to really understand how I feel about the whole thing, or more accuratly, how I feel I fit into my new role in the world.

In a deleted scene the new cub ate the annoying ape.
Its been very odd for me as when I first found out that I was going to be a dad, I reacted very poorly. I wanted nothing to do with the mother or with the baby. I was scared, and I reacted in a fashion that I an ashamed of. Very quickly I realised that I was an idiot and became pro baby and was keen to be involved in the life of my as yet unborn child, even if it seemed like the rest of my family were not.

Things have not been easy between the mother and I for some time. This is my fault, because of my initial reaction, but I have spent the better part of 8 months trying to prove that I acted without truly thinking about things. Suffice to say, that up until the actual birth, I felt like the mother was going to make things extremely difficult and the chances of me being allowed to be involved with the child was slim to nil.

One of the things that she had told me was that she would inform me of any appointments etc. so that I could of course go. This did not happen. There were arguments when I found out she had been keeping a lot from me. I must point out that whilst this does sound like I am making her out to not be nice, this was all in reaction to me being horrible, so its very understandable.

At last! Things looked like they were improving as I got told about a scan and asked if I wanted to go, and then go shopping for appropriate baby things afterwards. I of course jumped at this olive branch. I had already been sending the mother 100+ pounds a month to make sure that she could get essential bits and pieces.

On a side note, things with my family were deterioriting with constant questions from my mother such as "I hope you are getting a DNA test"

"Why?"

"Because you do not know if it is yours"

"It is mine. Would you ask Rob (my brother) to get one if Sarah was pregnant?"

"Of course not. They are together"

"So were we"

"mmmmmmmm"

This continued on for some time. To this day, I believe (or at least I choose to in order to stop myself from snapping at my parents) that they were simply overreacting because they were worried about me, and that as my mother had not met Katie (due to her being horrible to every girlfriend I have ever introduced her too) that she was stressed. Added on to this is their stress of selling the massive falling to pieces townhouse (more to follow on this in a bit) and my fathers ticking clock of life. Again, they are wonderful people and I could not have picked better parents, it is just apparent to me now that my family and myself do not react well in high stress situations (unless they involve fire or other forms of sudden terror, buts that's another story).

We went for the scan, and it was a great day. Annoyingly, after three attempts the baby decided that it would not play ball and so the sex was indeterminate. Sigh. So led us to having to refer to the baby as it for another five months. It gets awkward and old very fast. On the up hand, we did decide on names. Well, we, and decide, don't go well together. We both agreed that should it be a boy, Charlie would be his name. She decided that Ruby would be her name if it was a girl. I was not happy with this as it seemed like a great name for a little girl, but I thought she would resent it when older (I kept imagining her name being spoken at a degree ceremony and I cringed every time).

Things between the mother and I reverted to non talking, or to be precise, me trying to talk to her and her not having any of it. The hormones made this WAY WORSE! Like being fired out a cannon into a lightning storm wrapped in tin foil bad.

The due date approached.

I would text and ask "how are you" and I would get the same reply again and again "fine".

War and Peace right there I tell you.

Well New Years Eve came about and I was in my flat, by myself, not able to drink or do anything. This went on for TWO WEEKS!

Someone at work told me that she was being induced on the upcoming Friday as she was late. I was a bit annoyed that I hadn't been told this, but again, one must choose his battles. Plus, what is the point in getting angry about something that I cannot change.

Well at long last, at 1:55 am on Saturday the 12th January 2013, my daughter was born.

Connie Williams (not my last name, but I'm modern enough to be cool with that).


"Everybody was kung fu fighting! But that kid is as fast as lightning"

As you may have guessed, I am quite stoic with my feelings and tend not to display them. However, holding my daughter for the first time, the first time I have held any child, and I was sold. She is perfect. She has my toes, as Katie asked me "do you have big feet?"

"Yes, size ten and a half"

"She has your feet then, as she has big feet for a baby".

She also has my hands, as she has finger nails that reach back to her first joint like I do, but Katie's are short. She has Katie's nose. But I think she has my expression lol.

Please also take note that Katie knitted the blue blanket featured in both photos. I hope that Connie has her mothers artistic creativity and talent.

I feel like I am floating on a cloud, and it will be sometime before I settle down and realise the breadth of emotions that I feel.

Sadly, for every happy story out there, there is a tragedy. For every demon slain at the hands of white knight, another hero is cut down in his prime whilst fighting the good fight.

A very good friend of mine posted in his blog about the birth of my little one, and when I read it I was touched by his eloquent words. When reading his post Dishwasher Chronicles #2 I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that the other person mentioned was the little brother of a friend of mine.

It was.

Chris Bramhall was eight years old when it was discovered that he had a super rare type of cancer. It cost 25k to get him each treatment. Through the hard work of his family and the kindness of many, a few treatments were paid for and Chris went to the states for them.

Sadly, on Friday night the mighty fell.

He fought for every inch of life that he had and he lived more in his few years than I feel most of us do in a lifetime. He was full of life and a real character and I had the pleasure of meeting him a few times and was humbled by the bravery he showed in life.

When my time comes I hope I can manage even half of the dignity that Chris had.

I do not know what the fate of Chris' charity will be, but I hope that it can go on to help others.

Lastly, whilst all of this was going on, I had to remove the last of my belongings from the house that I grew up in as my parents have finally sold it and it will be turned into flats. This is not important when held against what I have just written about, but in the space of 48 hours I have seen the final death of my childhood and the insular family life I used to know. I have held the miracle that is my daughter and I have known the sadness from the loss of someone far too young.

The past several months have been very difficult for me and my emotions have been a roller-coaster. I could go from moody to happy at the drop of a hat. I have not been alone though.

I do not like putting labels on friendships but in this case it is well deserved. My best friend Stuart Wetherell has been a bastion of support and kindness and always someone I could vent at, or get advice from or even just provide me with a distraction when I needed to take my mind off of everything.  My big sis Holly has been a star and always knows exactly what emotions are going through my head by even the simplest raising of my eyebrows etc and has been fantastic.
My friends such as Rob Nichol, Bryn Hoyle , Simon Eggleston, Karrie and James Tilburn, Emma Griffiths and more have given me great advice on everything. I've made new friends such as Rachel Ostell, who has made me realise that I can make new friends even when feeling like the world was resting on my shoulders. Lastly my good friends Alison Torbitt and Charlotte Gilroy who are just awesome.

All in all I think you can understand why I hijacked my usual blog theme for this little update. My life is certainly never going to be the same again.

I might as well throw in a book quickly.....

Stuart bought me this. Its legendary. If you are a parent or a parent to be, go out and get a copy. Book segment done.

End of line.


Sunday, 6 January 2013

Times Arrow by Jonathan Green

 First of all, I want to say congratulations on the success of Jonathans Kickstarter project You Are The Hero, which at time of writing has 55 mins to go and has passed the mark very comfortably. You Are The Hero will be a "coffee table" book covering the history of the Fighting Fantasy series of books started by Ian Livingstone of Games Workshop fame and Steve Jackson. I personally had no experience with the Fighting Fantasy books (I had encountered similar books) and having done some digging, its a fascinating topic. As Jon has contributed to the series himself, there is no one as well suited to write this book as he. So I am very much looking forward to getting my hands on a copy by the end of 2013.

Now, back to Times Arrow........



With Time's Arrow, Green is on top form.

The first exciting point that should be noted is that this book is in effect an experiment as Green wrote the first part and then released it on the internet and asked what the readers wanted to see from the second part of the story. Back in February of 2012 I discussed this with Jon at the SFX Weekender and at the time it seemed like a brilliant and fresh way to approaching writing. I personally didn't take part as I only wanted to read it in one collected final edition (the waiting would have killed me otherwise). There is a really interesting interview in the back of the book which discusses Jonathan's undertaking of this project.

As for the book itself, I could not put it down. I was a little bit worried about picking up Time's Arrow as the first of the Pax Britannia books I picked up had been Evolution Expects, which is still my favourite of the series. I could not get in to Anno Frankenstein that much as its setting in the past threw a lot of what i loved about the series and the characters I had come to expect could not be featured such as Quicksilvers trusted batman Nimrod. 

Times Arrow follows on from the story ark that I feel is first introduced in the short story Vanishing Point that can be found just after the brilliant Leviathan Rising in the Ulysses Quicksilver Omnibus, I am sad to say that I bought that omnibus rather than the individual books to save me time, now none of the spines match. In Vanishing Point, Quicksilver is reunited with the love of his life in a desperate battle to save her father from Nazi saboteurs, hell bent on stealing a scientific breakthrough that will change the world as Quicksilver knows it.   

This short story then leads into Dark Side in which Ulysses' must travel to the British colonies on the moon to find out what has happened to his wayward brother Barty. I've probably given spoilers away without realising, but suffice to say that by the end of Anno Frankenstein, Ulysses does not come through it looking quite like he normally does....

In the beginning of Times Arrow, Ulysses finds himself in the city of light and love, Paris. The Pax Britannia books have led Ulysses Quicksilver to Russia, the Moon, throughout much of the rest of Europe and Paris makes a fantastic setting for the his current adventure, or misadventure.

All Ulysses wants to do is to get back to the people dearest to him and as usual, within minutes of arriving in Paris, he finds himself embroiled in a fiendish plot to destroy the might city and he finds himself framed for murder. Injured and on the run from the French police and a giant ape, Ulysses gets help from the young idealistic Josephine, who I wished we could have seen more of in the book, but as is true to life, sometimes people show up for a bit and then are not seen again.

As usual from one of Greens adventures, you are given references to many popular culture figures that as the reader when you catch them you always have a little smile to yourself. These can be as obvious as the Phantom of the Opera, or the Island of Dr Moreau to references to the Dark Knight.

The highlights for this book for me was the way in which Quicksilver was torn between helping strangers and his desperation to get home and save those closest to him. The shadowy individual, reminiscent of Moriarty that is pulling the strings in the background and the simple question of whether Quicksilver will get back to Magna Britannia in time, or indeed at all.

If Times Arrow is anything to go by, then the next instalment will be an even greater adventure that will test our hero to his utmost limits.
 

 



Monday, 31 December 2012

Time for a change...(plus check out the link at the end of this post for You Are The Hero, kickstarter project.)

Well at the time of writing its 14 minutes to midnight and as you might find strange I am not out on the town as I would usually be for New Years. Well, the reason for that is quite simple in so far as my child, which was due today, is not here yet (sex unknown thanks to inconclusive scan). So I am having a very sober, and somewhat toned down New Year.

As the night has gone on it has allowed me to reflect on the past year and a bit.

For one, I started not only this blog, but also a very in depth journal (which I imagine will someday be used against me). I finally managed to cut all ties with the person I thought was the love of my life and was ready to marry and yet who turned out to be cheating on me (never news you want to hear a week before your thesis is due in). But in the end, its good that I did that. I lost a flatmate who was great to live with, the downside his girlfriend who is unemployed and who moved in (without asking) was not so good. On the uphand, from that stupid mistake I got a flatmate who has been a real pleasure to live with and has been there for me through a lot of crap. Having looked at my spreadsheet for the year, I have somehow managed to read 93 books, which wasnt bad I thought. These have covered the usual sci-fi and to a lesser extent fantasy, but have also covered things such as history, biography, engineering and oddly enough, quantum mechanics.

I met someone who I thought was rather nice but then turned out to not be and as she also got accidentally pregnant, that's made this year somewhat "interesting" but I'm going to be the best father I can and just hope for the best.

I took up climbing this year which has proven to be brilliant as not only did it let me get into a sport that I rather enjoy but I have met some really great people because of it such as Rob, Bryn, Louis, Rachel, Karrie and James and the list goes on.

I finally learned how to ride a bicycle. Yes, I realise way too long.

Well its now turned to midnight from the fireworks I can hear outside. This means I now have to get used to putting 2013 when I sign things over a hundred times a day at work. sigh :-) Happy new year everyone.

I've also gotten into going to the gym big time which has been great as I can now run further and faster than ever before, which has also meant that i've lost over a stone, gone from medium sizes to small and have gone down a trouser size. Score!

Well, im not usually one for new years resolutions as I think that if it takes a day change to make you change then things are not good. However, this year as the baby will no doubt bring many changes, its time to have an overhaul. I will write a review a week on here. I will keep up with the gym. I will try and care more about my job (no guarantees, working for "voldemort" is very boring.)(I am quite good at my job btw). I will endeavour to find a job in a field in which I truly love, so that kind of equates to books, sports or games I guess.

Well, its now seven past midnight so I shall leave this and either write some of my "book", start of Times Arrow by Jonathan Green (one of my favourite authors, only reason I haven't reviewed him this year is because this is his new one this year and I've had a large "to read" list to go through). or of course I could play a game. Choices, choices...

So goodnight, and a very happy new year to you all.

On a side note, please, please visit this site and give it a read and pledge to this great project...

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1412864360/you-are-the-hero?ref=live

And if you want to go and buy this, its very worthy of a read as Dave has put great work into it...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Crown-Thief-Tales-Easie-Damasco/dp/085766249X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1356999181&sr=8-1


End of line.

John

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Crown Thief by David Tallerman


This is the second book in the Easie Damasco series by David Tallerman. I went on to the Angry Robot website to see what the publisher had written about the book after I had finished it and this was a line I have taken from their description: "Meet Easie Damasco: Thief, swindler and lately, reluctant hero." I felt that the only thing missing from that is ladies man.

That's a lie as he isn't, but I feel it had a nice ring to it. After all, apart from the somewhat confused look on his face, what lady could resist those looks?

When I started this book the first thing that I realised was that this was the first book in a series that I have read that didnt insult me by making me think that I could read this if I had not read the previous outing. I read a series of three books a couple of weeks back and really enjoyed them, the downside is that it took me maybe two days to read each one so it felt like one massive book. In the case of this and Giant Thief that would be great as the two flow perfectly into each other. Its not like say you've just watched A New Hope and then put on Empire Strikes Back and you are left wondering what happened in between the two films, with Giant Thief and Crown Thief its as if in the last line of Giant Thief it says "and Easie turned the door handle" and then the first line in Crown Thief is "and he stepped through", (That isn't how the book actually ends). The great thing about Crown Thief is that it doesn't outwardly re-explain anything in the world that is established in Giant Thief, so it dosent try to shove down my throat who all the characters are when they first come back onto the page. I like that its as easy as Easie and Alvantes are travelling etc etc, rather than Easie, thief etc and Alvantes, guard captain turned crippled hero who hates Easie etc etc. The book lets you either remember these relationships or explains them by the characters actions. Brilliant and extremely refreshing.

I want to say that Dave's writing skill has gotten even better with this book but I can't feel like that sounds patronising. I think that with the characters established and the world created, Dave has the freedom to concentrate on the the little details. The buildings for example are amazing and I can't help but imagine them as a cross between great cities of the early Roman Empire and the towns in Skyrim. The world is alive with sights and sounds and more often than not smells.

The characters are brilliant, with Easie being the man with the plan and who keeps getting into situations which are wholly believable. He begins to perform kind acts and enjoys the feelings he gets from those and at the same time he seems to be extra generous when he's a little drunk. I can relate to that. Its a pain in the bank balance.When I think of Easie I see him as on par with Jean Valjean and that Alvantes is Inspector Javert, only the two of them have to work together. Whilst Easie may have stolen more than just a loaf of bread, he helps all those he meets. Also, Alvantes might not have been chasing Easie his entire life, at first there is the venom of someone that has.

(Possible Spoiler in This Paragraph) The only downpoint for me in the whole book was certain characters are built up and I felt that they should have played a more important part in the story and then they do not. I will not say who these are as I hate spoilers.

Dave has put a good twist in this book as well that again I shall not go into detail and I have been told that whilst I worked out part of it before I was meant to, there is more than meats the eye which I highly look forward to for the next instalment.

I will end this review here I think, and simply say that this book is a great step up in the story and in world creation. The characters and the situations that they get into are all fully believable and even though it is a fantasy world not once does Dave use a lame plot device to make something more convenient. Everything is explained and it always work. The only time you dont get something explained is part of my above spoiler and its much better the way Dave has written it than if it was explained as a good mystery is a great thing and makes certain characters more intimidating.

Go forth and purchase this book. Its fun, its serious, it will make you laugh once or twice, it'll make you go "how are they going to get out of this one" and it will even make you say "will you just kiss her already!". Crown Thief is a great read and I would even recommend it to people who do not normally read fantasy.

Finally, one hell of a cliff hanger that will make you want to chew the back cover off just in case there is a little hidden there.

There isnt.

I checked.